Video on "Understanding stress"

Stress is a big menace. But you need stress too. Positive stress or eustress is good for personal growth as it enhances energy to fight back for growth and development. 

There is only hair line difference between a positive and negative stress. Positive stress such as challenges turn into negative one such as depressions as soon the pressure on personal demands increases. It is important to remember that emotions like depressions do not happen to you. You don’t catch depression like cold or fever. 

You create it by efforts, like every other result in your life. Stress is the unique in the category of diseases. It has no biological carrier such as germ or virus, yet it is worse than an epidemic when negatively poised. 

You know that modern high paced, mechanical life put immense strain on human system. But, can the human being take more and more worry, strain and tension, beyond a limit- without cracking up? Remaining stress free is impossible. Health implications of negative stressors are severe. 

To your utmost surprise it triggers such low profile early indicators like change in appetite, headache, anger, etc. those are never considered as intrinsic potential danger to future life and slowly turn into cancers, ulcers, heart attack, etc.

The video talks about basic concepts to understand stress.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1y52_hrOME

Please read the articles
http://pvbhopal.blogspot.in/2015/06/our-body-chemistry-article-in-hindi.html
http://pvbhopal.blogspot.in/2015/10/internal-chemistry.html

Anger anger come again.....

Do you enjoy getting angry.... Do you think that getting angry is a routine, like I eat food, I drink water, I do this and I do that... so I do get angry also... What is so uncommon about it? Nothing so special at all....But  when you get angry, your body chemistry goes into turmoil. Your internal mechanism get drenched with nonsense, filthy and dirty chemicals that gets accumulated at almost every nook & corner of the body. 
Now think of these questions...

• Are you often angry?
• Do you frequently over react?
• Do you take your anger out on someone other than the person you’re angry with?
• Do you hold grudges, pout, or sulk? 
• Do you stay angry for a long time?
• Are you scared of your anger?
• Are other people scared of your anger?
• Does your anger negatively affect the people you live or work with?
• Do you ever get violent when you’re angry?

If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you may have a problem with anger. And anger may be keeping you from communicating effectively.

Getting angry, "if its a routine", then the matter is serious enough to take guard of situation immediately before it becomes urgent. The question is... where from this anger comes?? Anger comes from anxiety. Anxiety is the internal state of the individual when he/she is compromising his/her comfort zone. A little discomfort causes anxiety and throughput is anger. The worst part of anger are those innumerable harmful chemicals generated within our body due to brain flashes caused by anger. These chemicals cause upset stomach, headache, acidity, insomnia, bulimia and what not. As a matter of  fact, these chemicals are the origin of future diseases which you are going to have. There is no one way to stop these chemicals from oozing out. The body gets adapt to these chemicals slowly but the most harmful effect is, the brain looses connection with certain internal mechanism where these chemicals are stored. 
And still worst is the violence seen in the society that is the outcome of anger. People, country who love violence, breed anger within them. Negativity bounce in their lives so much that they live dual life. 
what annoys you??
When you are in a class or out of class and some strange behaviour of your students annoy you, what you need to do? Get angry, furious or just ignore. If you leave your unlocked bike in the centre of town, it is likely to get stolen. This can be frustrating and is likely to give rise to feelings of anger. Of course, we should  minimise this kind of situation – simply remember to lock your bike. If we feel there is an injustice in our workplace, we should work to resolve it; this will make our work environment more peaceful and less prone to creating anger. If we have a partner who is abusive, the solution is not just dealing with our own anger, but finding a more peaceful living situation.

Most of the time in our life, you need to use Common Sense.

How should I NOT get angry???
First thing, it is important to minimise the internal discomfort. Take the things/people /situation as they are. Don't put your brain unnecessarily to it. And the second important thing to NOT to get angry is, "don't fight with the anger". When you get angry, you fight with your own emotions and give it a rise till it bursts. When it comes, take a little stroll, drink a little water or watch a beautiful picture. And do the best you can for anything you are doing (for which you will feel good & pride internally). If you are cleaning do it in the best way. If you are writing, do it the best way.
My roads are dirty, it angers me. People drive rash, it angers me. Government doesn't do the right thing, it angers me. Let me guide this anger to another path where it takes a little stroll and I funnel it to a different channel. When we try to transcend anger, it doesn’t mean we have to acquiesce to injustice and unfairness. We should strive to make the world a better place. However, whatever our goals, it is always best to act with poise and a clear mind. Acting under the influence of anger makes it more difficult to attain what we wish to achieve.

Finally as a teacher, I occasionally feign anger to make students pay attention; sometimes, you need to show a stern face. That's the best way, NOT actually getting angry but showing anger. However, as a teacher you can’t afford to allow yourself to be over-run with the emotion of anger because then you may over-react and create problems.

ANGER MANAGEMENT

How to Manage Anger

• Are you often angry?
• Do you frequently overreact?
• Do you take your anger out on someone other than the person you’re angry with?
• Do you hold grudges, pout, or sulk? 
• Do you stay angry for a long time?
• Are you scared of your anger?
• Are other people scared of your anger?
• Does your anger negatively affect the people you live or work with?
• Do you ever get violent when you’re angry?

If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you may have a problem with anger. And anger may be keeping you from communicating effectively.

Anger is one of the most primal and complex feelings in the range of human emotions. Although it is neither good nor bad, its misuse causes a great deal of suffering:

• Undermining trust, loyalty, and teamwork
• Destroying relationships
• Creating a hostile environment
• Lowering productivity
• Contributing to health problems
• Incurring legal expenses
• Contributing to violence

The problem with anger, as Aristotle observed over 2,500 year ago, is this: “Anyone can become angry — that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way — this is not easy.”

Anger does three things.

1. It alerts us to a problem. It’s like a siren, warning us of a threat to our safety or to the safety of those we care for.
2. It focuses our attention. When we’re angry, we have trouble thinking about anything else.
3. It gives us energy. Anger floods the bloodstream with chemicals that turbocharge the body and prepare it to take action.

Here’s an example of anger in action. A department store floor manager, late for a meeting and thinking about 10 different problems, overhears an associate call a customer a “fat cow.” She stops dead in her tracks. For the moment she forgets everything else. She steps in to deal with the customer and the employee.

Since each person’s response to anger is unique, you have become an expert about your anger pattern.

Hot Buttons

We all have different Hot Buttons, things that trigger a strong emotional reaction in us — people’s attitudes or actions, events, situations, etc.

They strike us as unfair, unjust, or just plain wrong. And they irritate, annoy, vex, anger, or enrage us.

Not everybody is bothered by the same thing that bothers us, and sometimes even that realization bothers us.

There are three steps to dealing with our hot buttons: 1. Observe. 2. Analyze. 3. Change.

Observe

The first step in dealing with our hot buttons is to become aware of them — without judgment or shame. 

• What type of incident, situation, or person typically “pushes your buttons?”
• What are you doing when it happens? 
• What are other people doing? 
• Where are you? 
• Who are you with? 
• How tired or stressed are you?

Do you recognize any pattern?

A pattern is something like this: "When X happens, I feel Y." 

For example:
When I’m late for an appointment and I get stuck in traffic, I get angry.
When my boss asks me to stay late, I get angry.

What’s your pattern?

For the next week pay attention to how you react internally when one of your hot buttons gets pushed.

Analyze

Now that you have some awareness of what typically triggers your anger, you can analyze your pattern.

Ask yourself what you’re thinking, when you get mad. What judgments are you making?

When you’re late for an appointment and stuck in traffic, do you think you’re stupid and you should have left earlier?

Or do you think you’re helpless and wish someone would take care of the problem for you?

Or do you think it’s a conspiracy and everyone’s ganging up to make you late?

When your boss asks you to stay late, do you think she’s being unreasonable? Or do you recall every other time she’s ever imposed on you and conclude that she’s an inconsiderate person and quite possibly the most incompetent boss in the world? Or do berate yourself for not standing up for yourself?

What are you thinking?

Now, stop. Don’t judge or justify what you’re thinking. Simply admit it.

And challenge it. Challenge what you’re thinking.

Ask yourself, what evidence do I have to support my thinking? Are there other possible explanations?

Could it be that I overscheduled my day and I didn’t leave enough time to get to my next appointment?

Could it be that my boss got a last minute project dumped on her, and she’s as put out as I am?

Could it be — and this possibility is the one that’s most devastating to our ego — could it be that other people’s lives, thoughts, and actions don’t revolve around us?

Change

Albert Ellis, a well-known psychologist, believes that most of our hot buttons are based on what he calls awfulizing. When things don’t go our way, we think, “It’s awful! It’s terrible! It’s horrible! I can’t stand it!”

He suggests we change the way we think — and talk — about our problems.

Instead of telling ourselves, “It shouldn’t be this way,” think, “I don’t like it. I wish it were different.” Taking the “should” out of it takes some of the sting out of it.

Instead of “Traffic shouldn’t be so bad at this hour,” say, “I don’t like getting stuck in traffic.”

Instead of “My boss shouldn’t dump work on me at the last minute,” say, “I don’t like it when she does.”

Instead of telling ourselves, “I can’t stand it,” think, “It bothers me a great deal. I don’t like it. I’ve survived worse things than this. I’m strong. I can do something about this.”

Instead of, “I can’t stand this traffic,” consider, “I dislike this traffic. I wish the roads were clear. But I’ve been through a lot worse than this. Maybe it’s time to put on a CD and chill out.”

Instead of, “I can’t stand it when she makes me stay late,” say, “I don’t like staying late, especially on a Friday night, but it isn’t the end of the world. I’ll have to think of some way to reward myself over the weekend.”

Recognize and accept your hot buttons. Challenge them. Change them by creating a new way of thinking about them.