Here are some practical suggestions
for dealing with anger, anxiety and feeling of disgust..
1.
When you are very anxious and angry say nothing.
If we speak in anger we will
definitely aggravate the situation and quite likely hurt the feelings of
others. If we speak in anger we will find that people respond in kind, creating
a spiral of negative anger. If we can remain outwardly silent it gives time for
the emotion of anger to leave us.
“When
angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred. “
2.
Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry.
Some people may unfortunately take a
malicious pleasure in trying to make you mad. However, if we can feel indifferent
to them and their words; if we feel it is beyond our dignity to even
acknowledge them, then their words and actions will have no effect. Also, if we
do not respond in any way to their provocation, they will lose interest and not
bother us in the future.
3.
Use reason to control anger.
When we feel anger coming to the fore
try to take a step back and say to yourself “This anger will not help me in any
way. This anger will make the situation worse.” Even if part of us remains
angry our inner voice is helping us to distance our self from the emotion of
anger. Look within and keep reminding that "you are not angry because someone did wrong but you looked at things differently".
4.
Look kindly upon Others.
Another visualisation, suggested by
spiritual teacher Paramhansa Yogananda, is to see the anger-rousing agent as a
5 year old child. If you think of the other person as a helpless 5 year old
child your compassion and forgiveness will come to the fore. If your baby
brother accidentally stabbed you, you would not feel anger and desire to
retaliate. Instead, you would just feel he is just too young to know any
better. This exercise may be particularly useful for close members of the
family who at times evoke your anger.
5.
Value Peace more than anger.
If we
value peace of mind as our most important treasure we will not allow anger to
remain in our system. As Sri
Chinmoy says:
“You may have every right to be
angry with someone, but you know that by getting angry with him you will only
lose your precious peace of mind..”
6.
Always try to understand those who are cross.
Don’t worry about feeling the need to
defend yourself from their criticisms. If you can remain detached and calm they
may begin to feel guilty about venting their anger on you. Inspired by your
example of calmness, they will seek subconsciously to do the same.
7.
Focus on Something Completely Different.
Suppose someone has done something to
make you angry. Think about something which will make you happy. The best
antidote to negativity is to focus on the positive.
8.
Breathe Deeply and practise deep breathing as routine..
The simple act of breathing deeply
will help considerably with removing anger. Make a practise to take deep breath often. Take a deep breath and release it very slowly. This also helps in developing a positive immune system.
9.
Meditation.
Practise
meditation regularly to bring your inner peace to the fore. If we can have an
inner access to our inner peace we will be able to draw upon this during
testing times. Asans, yoga and meditation are the best ways to relax the mind-body connection and infuse it with lot of positive energy.
10.
Smile
When you look at the mirror, give a big smile and your self. When we smile we defuse many negative
situations. To smile is offer goodwill to others. Smiling costs nothing but can
effectively defuse tense situations.
