Parenting per se seems to be a usual task
as we normally do other routines in our life. It is not so?? I believe that parenting is
the university in itself. Grooming someone to become a responsible citizen in
life cannot happen by chance. It has to be designed SMART meaning thereby ( S)
with a specific purpose in mind, (M) measurable goals (what he or she is going to attain as per his/her capabilities and calibre), (A), attainable objectives (how she or he is going to achieve those objectives in a given time frame), (R)
relevant to one’s likes (it is NOT the parent's choice to make him/her so and so, but it is his/her liking to become so and so.) and (T) time bound. This becomes the responsibility of the parents to design the path of life of the child together rather than imposing one's whims and wishes onto the child. Unfortunately neither parents nor schools are able to design the path of development of the child resulting in chaos and confusion.
Especially in Indian traditions where joint
families still exist, a child grows amidst care and concern of the senior
members of the family. The senior members of the family observe the growth of
child very affectionately with emotional enrichment of relations, whether it is
mother-child or father-child or mother-father. Thus a presence of a grand
father or a grand mother makes a great difference in cultivating the much
needed values of life. 
This is an important
factor in determining how the child deals with the people outside the family.
The Indian parenting style builds the mutual respect and trust for other
people, their values and customs. Indian parents believe strongly that their
child is part of a family and a community and that it is of prime importance
that the child realizes that every decision she makes and every action she
takes has consequences for the entire family and community.
The world of parenting has
changed in urban India to a large extent because of economic constraints and
life-style management. This has great impact on nurturing values. In order that
child grows up with results, parents put pressure on every aspect of child’s
life. They expectations are often guided by fanatics of physical targets; those
may not be true to capabilities of the child. As a result the child stays
dependent on his parents for almost a quarter of his life. From the kind of
clothes kids wear to the stream they choose in school or college, everything is decided by
their parents. And this does not simply end here. The selection of the college,
course, city of work and even the spouse hugely depends on their parents’
decisions, if not entirely, to a great extent. This ultimately creates lot of anxious moments for
the child in his life. The child is groomed in wrong direction. The situation is changing in cities now as people started realising the negative aspects of poor parenting.
It is important to realise that
roots of Indian culture still vibrates in its families and social-cultural
values. Children must remain in emotional touch of grand parents and other
members of the family. There is an eminent need of training young parents on
parenting style. Inculcating values can only happen through responsible
parents. Values are the much needed asset today. Lack of values means misdirected growth. Unfortunately the seats of learning like schools and colleges do not inculcate values by design. What they really develop is a matter of research. In such cases, parents need to be a lot vigilant, observant and cautious about their wards.
The five most important values
that will impact the larger part of life of the child are.
1. Making the child own his/her actions
2.
Developing an attitude of
3. Make
him/her learn “the gratitude of getting”.
4. Teach
the child “the value of money”.5. Developing an attitude of "learning to learn".
We will discuss this in more detail with episodes that how a good parenting requires to design a parenting guide for your own family.
